Have you ever tried to answer the question: “What gets me out of bed in the morning?” In the day to day of the daily grind, it’s easy to fall into the rut of thinking that it’s your responsibilities that get you out of bed and moving each day. Maybe you reason that you have to get moving because – your dog needs fed or your kids need to get off to school or your mortgage needs paid. But, the truth is, each of those obligations is based on a value that you’ve embraced.
Undergirding every decision, consciously or not, is a value. What do we mean when we talk about ‘values’? Many people think that values are ethics or morals; they’re not. Values are the things that are important to us – what we ‘value’, and what gives us purpose. Most people have between 5 and 10 core values that identify who they truly are, deep down. Your values are unique to you; even if you and I pick the same value word, such as adventurous, we might each practice that value differently in life. Values reflect who we are on a daily basis – whether we are at home or at work or at play. In fact, whether we even make time for play is based on a value! When you look at the foundational building blocks of your life, you see that values give you a sense of purpose. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that honor them. When we live in light of our values on daily basis, we have more energy and feel more fulfilled because we are leading from what’s important to us. In these moments, we feel authentic and whole. When we don’t align with our values, we feel less authentic and become demotivated about our daily lives.
Identifying your Values
Have you ever taken the time to identify your values? You have them whether you recognize and label them or not. Of course, it’s best if you know what they are! Why? Because when you know your own values, you can use them to make decisions about how to live your life and answer questions like: Should I accept this promotion? Should I start my own business? Should I have children? Where do I want to live? Should I compromise, or be firm with my position? Should I follow family tradition, or blaze a new trail? The answers to these questions are ultimately rooted in your values.
For example, if taking the promotion means a 65-hour work week but “giving back” to the community is one of your values, you might find you’re willing to make less money so that you have time in your week for volunteer work.
How do you discern your values? It might help to answer questions like these: What are the times when you are happiest? Most proud of yourself? Feeling fulfilled or satisfied? Next, ask yourself, “why did I feel so proud, satisfied, or fulfilled?” You’ll likely find your values at the bottom of that question. Why? Because your values led you to these happy outcomes. Your list might include words like: curiosity, leadership, financial stability, independence, thankfulness, timeliness, health, generosity, diversity, adventure. You might start with a long list of things that come to mind. You’ll need to narrow it down to a working list. Focus on the ones that best define you. Then, prioritize them. These are your core values.
Bonus tip: You can combine several ideas into one value. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.
Ethicist and educator, Dr. Robert Rue emphasizes that: “Values are the essence of who we are as human beings… They help us select the work we do, the company we keep, the relationships we build, and ultimately, the groups and organizations that we lead. Our values influence every decision and move we make, even to the point of how we choose to make our decisions!”
So, if we’re going to talk about decision-making this month, we need to start with the foundation to all of our decisions: values.
Do you know yours? How can we help you figure them out?
